Dearest Plague Rats,

I would love nothing more than to regale you with tales from the Asylum Tour of madness, and I promise to do so in the next couple of days now that I am safely back in my cell, BUT FIRST, I must take this moment to explain to you the situation regarding the incredibly unfortunate cancellation/postponement of the USA tour dates which were to have taken place on May 22 in New York at the Highline Ballroom and on June 7 in Los Angeles at the Key Club, both splendid venues that I was out of my mind with excitement to be playing.

Subject The First: Reasons for the Postponed/Cancelled Dates

Johnnie Clapper, formerly half of the Trisol record label and the person who was acting as my temporary manager and booking agent (and who has been fired from all positions and whom legal action is being taken against), had booked those two US dates without my approval of the details or contracts, but I was happy to honor the dates just the same having been given the promise that US tour dates between the two dates were being booked in order to support the two existing dates, and thereby make a real US tour possible. However, once I arrived in Europe for the commencement of the European Asylum Tour these weeks ago, I was stunned to find that no dates other than the NY and LA shows had been booked at all. This makes it virtually impossible for myself, my Crumpets, and my crew to play these two dates with such an amount of empty space in between — the sheer cost would be ridiculously prohibitive. I was disappointed and terribly saddened to have to cancel/postpone these two dates, especially as I had expected a whole US tour to take place during that time.

Subject The Second: Refunds

I have only just learned today that some tickets for these shows were being sold through Ticketmaster/the venues, with some others being sold by a service called TicketAsylum.com. TicketAsylum.com was being run by Johnnie Clapper, with all proceeds going directly into his own personal PayPal account. I have nothing to do with TicketAsylum.com, and never authorized the sale of tickets or any other merchandise through this service in any way. I do not run the site, have not authorized the site, and have received no money from anything sold on the site.  

I hope that anyone of you who have purchased tickets from the venues/Ticketmaster have been able to get refunds, and I will be looking further into that in the next day (I’ve only just arrived home from the tour where I had little opportunity for phone/internet access), and will report back on any details that will be of help to you in getting full refunds for any tickets purchased. 

As for any tickets purchased from TicketAsylum.com, I can only direct you to Johnnie Clapper directly in order to be refunded. I have no further connection with Johnnie Clapper, and never authorized or knew about these sales. I can provide Johnnie Clapper’s contact information to assist you in the only way I am able:

Johnnie Clapper

Weilertsweg 26

64739 Höchst im Odenwald

Germany

Fon: ++49 (0) 61 63 / 938 338

Mobile: ++49 (0) 178 / 28 36 417

email: johnnie@trisol.de

I can do nothing but express my deepest regret for the cancellation/postponement of these two US dates, and to apologize for the immense inconvenience this causes to all of you who have already purchased tickets, or were planning on coming to the shows. I can assure you that this is even more disappointing to me than it is to you.

However! I am also extremely pleased to announce to you all that more reputable, reliable, and honest staff are being put into place as we speak, and that a more extensive US tour, as well as dates worldwide, are being planned for the very near future. I hope that we will be playing the Highline Ballroom and the KeyClub as part of this upcoming US tour, and we all promise to bring you the show of a lifetime.

I hope you will accept my apologies and understand this very difficult situation that I have found myself thrust into. 

Love and thanks from the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls, and with more tales to come, and extra extra thanks with marmalade on top for joining us all on this latest Asylum tour. I an entirely overwhelmed by how completely fabulous and kind you have been to me, Aprella, Contessa, Captain Maggot, and Naughty Veronica, and we are all so grateful for your company and for singing your beautiful and generous hearts out with us all over the world. We will be seeing you again very, very soon!

EA

http://vickiehowell.blogspot.com/2009/04/knit1-div…

WE HAD A BLAST OUT THERE.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR TO EVERYBODY WHO CAME OUT TO CELEBRATE OUR FIRST TOUR OUT OF NORTH AMERICA.
THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT FINALLY GRANTED JEWELS HIS PASSPORT.
AND IT ONLY TOOK FOUR YEARS!
SO NOW WE’RE COMING TO A COUNTRY NEAR YOU.
THESE PHOTOS ARE STILLS FROM MIKE SIMONETTI’S PIXEL VISION VIDEOS OF THE TRIP.

THE CLUBS.
THE FESTIVALS.
THE PARTIES.
THE RECORDS.
THE FOOD.
THE FRIENDS.
THE AIRPORTS.
THE HOTELS.
THE SKY.
THE WATER.
THE AIR.
THE CANDY.
THE MUSIC.
WE COULD GET USED TO THIS.
WE LOVE YOU!

XOXO

G/L/A/S/S/C/A/N/D/Y A.K.A HUSTLETOWN GLOBETROTTERS

Bestowing yet more recognition on one of the landmark singles of the decade; ‘Bleeding Love’ was last night named Song of the Year at the 26th Annual ASCAP Awards in Hollywood.

On hand to collect their award were ‘Bleeding Love’ songwriters Jesse McCartney and OneRepublic’s Ryan Tedder. Acknowledging Leona’s contribution McCartney said, “Being recognized by ASCAP is a great honor as a songwriter, and I am very grateful for this award. The success of this song would not have been possible without Leona’s stunning vocals and amazing approach.”

Congratulations guys!

How’s this for a belated birthday present? I just got this email a few minutes ago:

 

 

April 24, 2009

 

Dear Soledad:

 

Congratulations! It is our great pleasure to offer you admission to UCLA for the
Fall Quarter 2009. You have been admitted to the
UCLA College of Letters and Science
with
Spanish and Linguistics
as your academic major.

You bring an impressive array of strengths to your academic endeavors. We know that
UCLA will benefit from your intelligence, imagination, and energy, and we hope you
will choose UCLA for your undergraduate education.

UCLA truly is a world-class university.
Here you will have access to acclaimed academic departments, a world-renowned faculty,
and distinctive research programs. The campus also offers a full range of social
and cultural activities and organizations for you to explore. At UCLA, you will
be challenged to confront, understand, and master a remarkable range of disciplines
that are the measures of a cutting-edge education. Our students consistently remark
how UCLA both fulfills their intellectual interests and enhances their personal
growth; we invite you to become a part of this extraordinary experience.

The New Bruins
Web site provides access to
your next step: your formal acceptance of our admission offer. It also includes
information about important deadlines and your housing application. For your reference,
your UCLA Student ID is shown above. Additionally, please review your Provisional
Admission Contract to ensure that you will continue to meet the provisions of our
offer of admission.

For now, enjoy this moment—it is the beginning of one of the most exciting and memorable
chapters in your life. Of course, you are going to learn a lot about the world at
UCLA. But more often than you might imagine, UCLA will be where the world learns
about you.

Welcome to UCLA!

 

Sincerely,


Vu T. Tran, Ed.D.

Director

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Santa & Grandma

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid.  I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: “There is no Santa Claus,” she jeered. “Even dummies know that!”

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her “world-famous” cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. “No Santa Claus?” she snorted. “Ridiculous! Don’t believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad. Now, put on your coat, and let’s go.”

“Go? Go where, Grandma?” I asked. I hadn’t even finished my second world-famous cinnamon bun.

“Where” turned out to be Kerby’s General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through it’s doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars.

That was a bundle in those days.

“Take this money,” she said, “and buy something for someone who needs it. I’ll wait for you in the car.” Then she turned and walked out of Kerby’s.

I was only eight years old. I’d often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for.

I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, and the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock’s grade-two class.

Bobby Decker didn’t have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn’t have a cough; he had no coat.

I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat!

I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that. “Is this a Christmas present for someone?” the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down.

“Yes, ma’am,” I replied shyly. “It’s for Bobby.” The nice lady smiled at me.  I didn’t get any change, but she put the coat in a bag and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas paper and ribbons (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in one of her books) and write, “To Bobby, From Santa Claus” on it.

Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker’s house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially one of Santa’s helpers. Grandma parked down the street from Bobby’s house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk.

Then Grandma gave me a nudge. “All right, Santa Claus,” she whispered, “get going.” I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his doorbell and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open.

Finally it did, and there stood Bobby. Fifty years haven’t dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker’s bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.

I still have grandma’s book, with the tag tucked inside: $19.95

Psssttt… did I mention just how awesome Grandma was?

Finally the last leg of Mommy’s trip. After London, York, Scar-Bra, Edin-Bura, Fringe, mommy returned to London. She spent one more day there before flying out. This time Tiffin was on a vacation of her own - so mommy went off to see the sites!

You might ask about Buckingham Palace. Yes, Mommy did get to tour inside. The Queen was on vacation. Unfortunately, they don’t allow pics in there - hence the reason whey there is a shot in front and in back, but nothing between. Mommy also toured the Royal Mews (It’s the Royal Stables). There were only 4 horses there at the time. The rest of them were at the “Ascot Horse Races”.

We would like to make this the quote of the week “Some People Are Gay, Get Over It”!

HAHA!!!  The crazy shit people write on craigslist.   This was under “missed connections”  -one of my favorite links.  ROFL
 
Girl with face tattoo who works at HEB - m4m - 35 (Temple)
Reply to: pers-teenp-1122506998@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-04-14, 4:50PM CDT

You’re really pretty its just weird that you have a face tattoo. Seems like it would be kind of a deal breaker for a lot of guys.

Location: Temple

Elle

 
oh and one more- ROFL fucking perv.
 

saw you at belton lake (belton)

---

Reply to: pers-e4uwe-1099905238@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-03-30, 7:33PM CDT

To the couple on the motorcycle in the park - I watched you guys going at it from my boat and that was hot! Woulda loved to join but the show was great.